Apotheosis of absurdity

Apotheosis of absurdity

By: Cristiana Nash

Blessed, prospered, and in victory, Nicaragua unique and original. Let’s celebrate with joy and happiness, life and love with esoteric suns, colorful flowers with fuchsia pink background that we see in giant lego cubes at roundabouts and mega-billboards that we admire especially in the city of Managua. Let us not forget the great yellow trees of life that decorate our city so beautifully. It does not matter that the maintenance and the electricity to light them up costs thousands of cordobas daily to the Nicaraguans, because they make our Managua more attractive and represent the progress of our country. We thank the FSLN and their coordinator of communication for all work done during the past eight years that are far more important than what that old and outdated book called the Constitution allows. Fortunately it has been enhanced by permiting our presidential couple to reelect themselves indefinitely.

With our commander Daniel Ortega and Rosario Murillo in front we ensure eternal happiness for ourselves. God give long life to the presidential couple! This way we will always have our pound of rice, beans, sugar, zinc sheets, pigs and chickens that they give us after making long and extended lines, especially during the celebration of our traditions such as December 8^th, day of the Immaculate Conception, Christmas, and other national traditions.

Who says that unemployment exists? If you have your Party membership card, you can keep a position in any government institution. You do not need all the education like the right-wing bourgeois! If we obey the directives of the party, we guarantee for ourselves a fixed salary as long as the government is there. You do not need to beark your head solving problems because our partner Rosario already has everything solved for us. There is nothing better than working easy and effortless.

Thanks to the Government of Peace and Reconciliation, teenagers do not have to kill themselves studying to pass these difficult tests in high school. With our partner Rosario and the commander, they only have to belong to the Sandinista youth to decorate the streets and roundabouts with canned spray paint writing over and over "July 19 Sandinista Youth," "Hugo Chavez lives," "Long live Daniel”, among other things. In return, they are taught to repeat the same speech our comrade Rosario says which is music to our ears. Moreover, they also promote travelling to party rallies in public buses to make their sex, alcohol and marijuana parties, because they are the future of our nation. Let’s also call Calle 13 to liven up our rally with a good concert.

Let us all rejoice! The government has blessed us so much that a meteor has fallen from the sky. Now with the people as president, the power has to be kept at all costs. We can not allow the burgeoisie of the right to rob it from us, we must continue in peace and unity, in order to continue going from victory to victory. That is why anyone who is against the government must be neutralized, threatened or attacked because they are traitors of the motherland. If they are protesting in the streets, give opinions in the media, or have different ideas from our government, we must teach by hook or by crook that you cannot go against the president of the people because there will be unpleasant consequences.

Let’s be patriotic! We cannot give our opponents the opportunity to exist, let’s finish them before they become too large and create destabilization. Let’s fabricate our own opposition instead! By giving them a lot of money to do their campaign and play our game. Like this we control what they do and what they say, and do not attract much attention so that we continue with our Christian, socialist and solidarity peace.

Let’s also pay international institutions to say what we want and do not make much noise abroad. Lest we are all invaded by the interference of Yankee imperialism! They are to blame for our poverty! This is why our Commander attacks them in his speeches at night at Triumph Plaza, and now he supports the Puerto Rican independence movement, because our Cuban brothers have betrayed by becoming friends of the United States. Traitors!

Meanwhile, we cannot allow the good to end, let’s continue with the Sandinista front, that leads us to peace, prosperity and the common good of all Nicaraguans. Let’s make the peace sign in each hand, which also symbolizes the number two, the voting box of the Party, singing and swaying from side to side to the beat of Give Peace a Chance "What we want is work and peace, together we say reconciliation".